Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
