Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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