thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
