so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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