Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
