just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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