Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
