Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
