is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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