I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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