WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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