Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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