hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
