When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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