lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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