at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
