was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
