and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
