What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
