nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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