I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
