sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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