I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
