It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
