You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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