You work out of a Hotel?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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