I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
