Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
