HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
