Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
