Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Randomize
