hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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