shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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