Your favorite bartender is back from prision
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
