You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
