Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
