I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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