Welp...herpes.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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