i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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