I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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