You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
