My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
