OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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