Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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