You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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