Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize