terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
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