i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
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Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize