i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
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Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
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Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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