It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
