I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I think I am morally bankrupt
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
