I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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