I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So gin and wine won't be happening again
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
