How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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