Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When did angry sex become our thing?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
as a side note pls kill me
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