I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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