real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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