Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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