My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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